«You are not your anger; you are the awareness behind the anger. Realize this and the anger will no longer control you » Elkhart Tolle.
I had a ha-ha moment lately when I realized that what I used to see as anger is actually deep sadness, deep confusion (as to why someone will behave a certain way) and deep disappointment.
This realization is allowing me to adjust my response to my feeling of anger and to find grace for myself and for others during the process.
Instead of feeling all consumed by my emotions or blowing up as I used to, I now just walk away, create distance or harden my boundaries.
Instead of trying to shift someone else’s thinking, instead of trying to challenge someone else’s actions or to change their behaviour, I am learning that most of the time, letting people suffer the consequences of their own actions is the best teacher. Sometimes the consequences is to loose you or other higher prices to pay.
This shift is teaching me to find gratitude in every challenging relationship that I’ve had for what it has allowed me to learn about myself and about life. It is also allowing me to maintain humanity as the foundation for my relationship. To remind myself that we all make mistakes we are all growing and learning (hopefully…) To keep wishing people well, regardless of the pain they’ve caused me, and to always pray for their healing.
And you, have you tried to breakdown your feeling of anger? What are the emotions you’ve attached to it.
With love always,